I’ve only allotted so much time to make you stunning, Bella – you might have taken better care of my raw material. (pg.40-Bella Swan)
No one expects me to be stunning. I think the bigger problem is that I might fall asleep during the ceremony and not be able to say ‘I do’ at the right part, and then Edward will make his escape.
You’ll be my sister officially in ten short hours… it’s about time you get over this aversion to new clothes.
No one will dare to call you plain when I’m through with you.
Deep breaths, Bella. And try to lower your heart rate. You’re going to sweat off your new face.
I was afraid to look in the mirror – afraid the image of myself in the wedding dress would send me over the edge into a full-scale panic attack.
Focus, Bella. Edward is waiting for you down there.
Bells, we’re up to bat.
I should have realized that having Alice as my only bridesmaid was a mistake. I would look that much more uncoordinated coming behind her.
Don’t let me fall, Dad.
All I really saw was Edward’s face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind. His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion. And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.
Charlie took my hand and, in a symbol as old as the world, placed it in Edward’s. I touched the cool miracle of his skin, and I was home.
In that moment, as the minister said his part, my world, which had been upside down for so long now, seemed to settle into its proper position. I saw just how silly I’d been for fearing this – as if it were an unwanted birthday gift or an embarrassing exhibition, like the prom. I looked into Edward’s shining, triumphant eyes and knew that I was winning, too. Because nothing else mattered but that I could stay with him.
I tried to comprehend, through the film of tears blinding me, the surreal fact that this amazing person was mine.
One scorching hug stood out from all the others – Seth Clearwater had braved the throng of vampires to stand in for my lost werewolf friend.
Ah, Edward. I’ve missed you.
Let me introduce you to my wife.
We’ll get to know each other later. We’ll have eons of time for that!
We took turns shoving cake in each others faces; Edward manfully swallowed his portion as I watched in disbelief. I threw my bouquet with atypical skill, right into Angela’s surprised hands. Emmett and Jasper howled with laughter at my blush while Edward removed my borrowed garter – which I’d shimmied down nearly to my ankle – very carefully with his teeth. With a quick wink at me, he shot it straight into Mike Newton’s face.
Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?
It wasn’t nearly as easy to dance with Charlie. He was no better at it than I was, so we moved safely from side to side in a tiny square formation. Edward and Esme spun around us like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
I feel just horrible, leaving you to cook for yourself – it’s practically criminal negligence. You could arrest me.
Kind is my middle name.
Can I cut in?
Yeah – the party can start. The best man finally made it.
I’m glad I came. I didn’t think I would be. But it’s good to see you… one more time. Not as sad as I’d thought it would be.
I’d never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob.
I’m out of practice with the whole human thing.
I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect.
I’m just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time.
Alice is an unstoppable force of nature.
You’d think I’d be used to telling you goodbye by now.
That’s my girl.
My relationship with Jacob used to be so easy. Natural as breathing. But since Edward had come back into my life, it was a constant strain. Because – in Jacob’s eyes – by choosing Edward, I was choosing a fate that was worse than death, or at least equivalent to it.
The darkness was suddenly very crowded.
You’ll hurt her. Let her go.
I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you myself! I’ll do it now!
My insides were chaotic with panic and grief, but that didn’t matter – only the outside mattered right now. Putting on a good show was something I knew I had to master.
I’d been so glad to see Jacob here. I knew the sacrifice it had taken him. And then I’d ruined it, turned his gift into a disaster. I should be quarantined.
You and me. That’s the only thing that matters. The only thing you’re allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?
Edward, I’m not afraid.
By the way, I love you.
You’re monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush.
Do you want to miss your plane? I’m sure you’ll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight.
Go away, Alice.
I’ll tell her where you’re taking her, Edward. So help me, I will.
You’re awfully small to be so hugely irritating.
You’re the best, smartest, most talented sister in the whole world.
I love you forever, Dad. Don’t forget that.
Who gives an island as a gift? I frowned. I hadn’t realized Edward’s extreme generosity was a learned behavior.
I’m nothing if not thorough.
He didn’t ask what I was thinking, which was out of character for him. I guessed that meant that he was just as nervous as I suddenly was.
I’m sure you’d like a human minute or two… It was a long journey.
Don’t take too long, Mrs. Cullen.
Did my skin burst into flames? I had to look down to check. Nope, nothing was burning. At least, not visibly.
I didn’t know how or when, but someday, Alice was going to pay for this.
I wouldn’t use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison.
Don’t be afraid. We belong together.
His arms wrapped around me, holding me against him, summer and winter. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire.
(pg.85-Bella Cullen )
I would have been happy to lie here forever, to never disturb this moment, but my body had other ideas. I laughed at my impatient stomach. It seemed sort of prosaic to be hungry after all that had passed last night. Like being brought back down to earth from some great height.
My first instinct, the product of a lifetime of insecurities, was to wonder what I had done wrong.
Fire and ice, somehow existing together without destroying each other. More proof that I belonged with him.
Stop acting like I’m not a monster for having agreed to this.
Why am I covered in feathers?
You… bit a pillow? Why?
Do not say the word fine. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine.
Ugh! Why can’t you just read my mind already? It’s so inconvenient to be a mental mute!
I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I’m sort of pissed actually.
That. That right there is why I’m angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward.
Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?
With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely.
( pg.93-Edward Cullen)
I can’t ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes.
We’re just lucky it was the pillows and not you.
( pg.95-Edward Cullen)
Do I look that hideous?
How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous.
I will not make love with you until you’ve been changed. I will never hurt you again.
I will not make any deals with you.
I gritted my teeth for a second, fighting a smile. If there was one thing he couldn’t resist, it was an opportunity to give me something.
Why are you doing this to me?
You are making me insane, Bella.
He kissed me back, but not in a way that made me think I was winning. It was more like he was being careful not to hurt my feelings; he was completely, maddeningly in control of himself.
You are so human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones.
You haven’t said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren’t for the snoring, I’d worry you were slipping into a coma.
In this dream that was both new and old, I simply had to protect the unknown child. There was no other option. At the same time, I knew that I would fail.
Do you want me to sing to you? I’ll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.
It wasn’t desire at all – it was need, acute to the point of pain.
I couldn’t tell if he was moved by the tears trembling in my voice, or if he was unprepared to deal with the suddenness of my attack, or if his need was simply as unbearable in that moment as my own. But whatever the reason, he pulled my lips back to his, surrendering with a groan.
I was afraid to admit I was awake and face his anger – no matter whom it was directed at today.
( pg.108-Bella Cullen)
How much trouble am I in?
The pillows all appear to have survived.
You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved.
You look so guilty – like you’ve committed a crime.
So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That’s not a capital offense.
I told you that it was all about practice.
Breakfast time for the human?
If I don’t have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I’m demanding a refund.
I don’t spend my free time plotting like some people do. What can we do to wear Bella out today?
Sex was the key all along? Why didn’t I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments.
You are so human.
Real estate is a good investment.
Beautiful women only? Well, that was kind of flattering.
Yes, I’m sure a movie will convince her that you’re human.
( pg.114-Bella Cullen)
( pg.115-Edward Cullen)
I don’t know… I’ve already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday.
I think it might be safer if it’s premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again.
I had another idea for burning calories.
We seemed to exist outside of time here, just drifting along in a perfect state.
Bella! I’m losing my mind over here.
Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?
The phone kept ringing. I wished Edward would answer it – I was having a moment. Possibly the biggest of my life.
I’m a little worried about Edward… Can vampires go into shock?
I would wait somewhere else for his mood to pass. I couldn’t talk to this icy, focused Edward who honestly frightened me a little.
Surprising, absolutely. Astonishing, even. But wrong? No. So why was Edward so furious? He was the one who had actually wished out loud for a shotgun wedding.
This child, Edward’s child, was a whole different story. I wanted him like I wanted air to breathe. Not a choice – a necessity.
We’re going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don’t be scared. I won’t let it hurt you.
I wished I could speak Portuguese, or that my Spanish was less rudimentary, so that I could try to thank this woman who had dared to anger a vampire just to check on me.
As if I could discount something because it was a legend. My life was circled by legend on every side. They were all true.
Life sucks, and then you die. Yeah, I should be so lucky.
Jeez, Paul, don’t you freaking have a home of your own?
Bring it, kid. I don’t need Rachel to protect me.
You broke my nose, idiot.
Wow, I bet Leah’s really going to love to hear that you want to spend some quality time with her. It’ll just warm the cockles of her heart.
All this mandatory love-at-first-sight was completely sickening!
I wondered – would a bullet through my temple actually kill me or just leave a really big mess for me to clean up?
( pg.148-Jacob Black)
Right now, I wouldn’t mind dismantling a haystack. At least that would give me something to do.
Bella was either coming back one of them, or not coming back. Either way, a human life had been lost. And that meant game on.
Five bucks on the baby girl.
( pg.152-Jacob Black)
You missed the party. Princess theme. She made me wear a crown, and then Emily suggested they all try out her new play (p.152-Quil Ateara)
It was hard being around imprinted people. No matter what stage they were in – about to tie the knot like Sam or just a much-abused nanny like Quil – the peace and certainty they always radiated was downright puke-inducing.
Sometimes I thought it might be fun to enter a race – you know, like the Olympic trials or something. It would be cool to watch the expressions on those star athlete’s faces when I blew by them. Only I was pretty sure the testing they did to make sure you weren’t on steroids would probably turn up some really freaky crap in my blood.
( pg.156-Jacob Black)
It had been so confusing. Dying to kill him. Afraid to hurt her. My friends in the way.
I hated it when Sam laid down the law like that. I hated the feeling of having no choice. Of having to obey.
Claim this, moron.
I’m not afraid to die.
I honor my pack. I do what’s best for them.
(Chapter 8, p.162-Sam Uley)
Nope, the pack wasn’t attacking anyone today. But I was.
Huh – I wondered if Sam would consider my death provocation. Probably say I got what I deserved. Wouldn’t want to offend his bloodsucker BFFs.
Ugh. Reeking vampires.
If there was such a thing as a safe vampire, it was the strangely gentle leader.
I saw her at the same moment that I caught her scent. Her warm, clean, human scent.
I knew how Bella felt about almost everything – her thoughts were so obvious; sometimes it was like they were printed on her forehead. So she didn’t have to tell me every detail of a situation for me to get it.
Edward moaned real quiet. His head slumped against Bella’s knees. She put one of her hands against his cheek. Like she was comforting him.
I didn’t want to see this, didn’t want to think about this. I didn’t want to imagine him inside her. I didn’t want to know that something I hated so much had taken root in the body I loved.
I always knew he would kill her.
I didn’t want to kill girls… even vampire girls. Though I might make an exception for that blonde.
Behave. And then come back.
I’m not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black. You’ll have to have a little patience.
Patience isn’t my specialty.
For a second I was just a kid – a kid who had lived all of his life in the same tiny town. Just a child. Because I knew I would have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the searing agony in Edward’s eyes.
This was the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake.
( p.177-Jacob Black)
His broken helplessness irritated me. I wanted a fight, not an execution.
Jeez, she was running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It was so Bella.
Did you ever notice that she’s exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs.
You should have left Bella with me.
Maybe he should have thought about all this before he knocked her up with the life-sucking monster.
I didn’t realize they had a special name for what you are.
Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself.
You know her, Jacob. You connect to her on a level that I don’t even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you.
I wondered if he was really going crazy. Could vampires lose their minds?
I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive. If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.
That’s the craziest thing you’ve said yet.
I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? SO messed up. So tempting.
Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?
Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?
I couldn’t believe I was even thinking about this. Bella would punch me – not that I cared about that, but it would probably break her hand again.
The moment Bella’s heart stops beating, I will be begging for you to kill me.
Over my pile of ashes.
( pg.186-Rosalie Hale)
He was right – she was beating herself up about hurting his feelings. The girl was a classic martyr. She’d totally been born in the wrong century. She should have lived back when she could have gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause.
The composure he was trying to keep up for Bella was shaky. I could see how close he was to that burning man he’d been outside.
I’m not going to lie, Bells. You’re hideous.
Did you know that ‘I told you so’ has a brother, Jacob? His name is ‘Shut the hell up.’
I did know this – every second I spent with her was only going to add to the pain I would have to suffer later. Like a junkie with a limited supply, the day of reckoning was coming for me. The more hits I took now, the harder it would be when my supply ran out.
Is dementia one of your symptoms?
I’m not saying things will work out easily, Jake. But how could I have lived through all that I’ve lived through and not believe in magic by this point?
If she hadn’t looked so fragile I would’ve been screaming. As it was, I did growl at her.
You’re dying for nothing, Bella! Nothing!
I took her face in my hand. I didn’t have to remind myself to be gentle. Everything about her screamed breakable.
Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death. He doesn’t end lives, he saves them.
I realized I needed her to stay alive, in some form. In any form.
Oh, I hadn’t heard the great news. A bouncing baby boy, huh? Shoulda brought some blue balloons.
You’re very pessimistic, Jacob.
Shut up, Bella. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker, but you’re not fooling me.
There was no point. I would never be able to save her from herself. I’d never been able to do that.
Please, Jacob. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some generic substitute?
You don’t have to hurt him. You could make him happy again, Bella.
I told you he was going crazy. Literally, Bells.
There isn’t much you wouldn’t do for me, either, is there? I really don’t know why you bother. I don’t deserve either of you.
I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I can’t hurt him any more than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. I love him.
Why do you always have to love the wrong things, Bella?
I could feel the addiction sucking at me, trying to keep me near her.
I’m not going to hang around and watch you die, Bella.
I almost went back. I almost turned around and fell down on my knees and started begging again. But I knew that I had to quit Bella, quit her cold turkey, before she killed me, like she was going to kill him.
You will not be cruel to him, Leah. Bella’s sacrifice is a heavy price, and we will all recognize that. It is against everything we stand for to take a human life. Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing. We will all mourn for what we do tonight.
There was fear in the pack, not so much for self but for the whole. We couldn’t imagine that we would all make it out alive tonight. Which brothers would we lose? Which minds would leave us forever? Which grieving families would we be consoling in the morning?
This isn’t about them. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she had never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!
Do you belong to a coven now, Jacob?
I sprinted toward the white house I still hated, leaving my home behind me. Home didn’t belong to me anymore. I’d turned my back on it.
How did everything get messed up and twisted so that I was here now, all alone, an unwilling Alpha, cut off from my brothers, choosing vampires over them?
Wait up. My legs aren’t as long as yours.
I didn’t follow you because I was after a promotion.
Stop being so… optimistic. It’s getting on my nerves.
You want me to be all doom and gloom, or just shut up?
Nobody out there. All’s quiet on the western front.
Wouldn’t it be just peachy if I couldn’t take care of Seth for one freaking night? What if something happened to him on my watch? Leah would shred me into kibble.
This would be a lot easier if the communication wasn’t one way. Then again, I was kinda glad I wasn’t in his head.
Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort.
It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m joining your crappy little renegade pack. The vampires’ guard dogs.
Wanna race, O fearless leader?
Shut up, Jacob. Oops, I’m sorry – I mean, shut up, most high Alpha.
You think I’m just going to sit home while my little brother volunteers as a vampire chew toy?
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
What is it with you Clearwaters? Why can’t you leave me alone?
That will be my goal, then – to be less annoying than Paul.
Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.
I’ve seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail… there won’t be anything for me to do.
Not pleasant? Gosh, that’ll be such a change.
The girl looked like she only had hours left, and she had to be in pain, but she was making jokes. So Bella. Trying to ease the tension, make it better for everyone else.
So, who’s going to catch me a grizzly bear?
( pg.242-Bella Cullen)
Well, I’m starving, so I’ll bet he is, too. Let’s go for it. My first vampire act.
Edward stayed, holding Bella’s hand. His face was dead again. He didn’t seem to have the energy to keep up even that little hint of hope he’d had before. They stared into each other’s eyes, but not in a gooey way. It was like they were having a conversation. Kind of reminded me of Sam and Emily.
If there was a way to escape this pain, I’d take it, too.
I kind of liked how, a lot of the time, she seemed to forget that I wasn’t completely human.
Don’t blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head.
You’re scared of Leah, but you’re best buds with the psychopath blonde?
She understands that you’re gonna die and she doesn’t care, s’long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal.
Stop being a jerk, Jacob.
You say that like it’s possible.