The folks over at The Village Voice have compiled a fun (and funny) list of things for Twilight Saga fans to do while they wait for Breaking Dawn part 1 to hit theaters! Here’s a preview:
71. Pretend to re-read Twilight, but really just lie with it under your pillow and occasionally touch its weathered pages with your cold, cold fingertips.
70. Do the same with Eclipse.
69. Do not do the same with New Moon. Use it to prop your front door open so your cat, Mr. Fluffers, can get in and out at night without you having to wake up. This will change your life! Also, under cover of moonlight, when you squint your eyes, you can pretend that Mr. Fluffers is Edward Cullen. They have a similar facial structure.
68. Put Twilight, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn under your pillow and try to sleep. You will not be able to. Imagine if your neck were as long as all three books together. What a neck that would be for a vampire to latch onto! Blow your own mind; make an appointment with a chiropractor.
67. Stare at yourself in the mirror. Will you ever have your own vampire love affair? Do not answer. This is a rhetorical question.
66. Fashion a realistic set of vampire teeth out of wine corks and some barbed wire, and practice wearing them around the house, and eventually to a red-carpet event, should you be invited to one.
65. Fashion a realistic Edward Cullen doll, with whom you will attend the movie’s premiere midnight show.
64. Determine whether you will have to buy the Edward Cullen doll a ticket to see the movie, or if you can sneak him in in your backpack.
63. Determine that the Edward Cullen doll deserves his own ticket. No expense is too great! Also, buy him some shoes. No one should have to go to a movie barefoot.
62. Refer to Yahoo Answers for what sort of shoes Edward Cullen wears.
61. Fashion a realistic Jacob doll. Stage mock fights between it and the Edward Cullen doll. Buy several shirts for the Jacob doll, because they are always ripping off and going missing when he becomes a werewolf. That must be frustrating.
60. Feel terrible when the fights become realistic, and the Jacob doll goes too far in a way that we cannot bring ourselves to discuss. Feel just like Bella must have. Also, slightly aroused.
59. Reattach the head of the Edward Cullen doll. Kiss its cold vampire lips and remember.
Read the entire list here!