16. The Choice

Dear Readers,

Since I have the chance to explain, I think I will just note down that when I first started writing ‘The Daybreak Chronicles’ it was set a few months after the events of Breaking Dawn and personally, I found this a good place to begin with. Having started, I found that with Renesmee still being quite young the central stories would be based around the other characters: The Cullens etc. However, if Breaking Dawn was to continue I would more-over focus on Leah and Renesmee as they would be the future of the novels from two different perspectives (shifter and vampire hybrid). Don’t get me wrong or anything, you do also need stories from the other characters as well ’cause their the icing on the cake to top it all off.

So I have, and I hope not to confuse you, changed it so the entries are now set a few years after the events of the Breaking Dawn book. I believe the Cullen’s deserve a few years of happiness and a relative calm life after everything they’ve been through – though with Renesmee around I doubt their lives would be dull enough to cause boredom.

The earlier entries will remain as they are – in some I know it says it’s set a few months after Breaking Dawn – but starting from the first entry from Jacob (Good Times) the entries will be set a few years after so; Renesmee is now practically grown up, Edward and Bella are still irrevocably in love, they still live in Forks (though I’m planning a move soon enough) and the wolf-pack are still happily running patrols.

And while I’m writing this; I’d love to give a warm welcome to the new writers at Bella’s Diary who are amazingly talented and their entry’s have me jumping from my seat every time. Welcome Erin and Sarah! You can read Edward’s Diary written by Sarah here: http://www.bellasdiary.com/?p=14697 (She gets Edward so perfectly it’s like having him leap from your computer screen) and Alice’s Diary by Erin (who happens to actually be the reincarnation of Alice herself) here: http://www.bellasdiary.com/?p=14740

With best regards,

Amy

-   Jacob, Black

As Carlisle removed each glass shard from my tensed arm it felt as if the wound continued to bleed internally, the blood acidic and it melted my bones leaving just the skin. Exposed and fragile.

The glass fell onto the metal platter with a piercing clink clink. It was like a cold wind nipping at my skin. I refused the damn needle and thread; but it already felt like an icy needle was being plunged into my heart, cooling the burning flames that spread through my body like a wildfire. “Ouch! You couldn’t be any gentler, could you?” I asked, as the last piece of glass was plucked from my arm.

“Sorry, Jacob, I’m just fascinated by Nahuel’s actions,” he answered calmly, but his eyes were deep with worry. Somehow, I knew Carlisle struggled like every vampire, regardless of his immunity to blood, but he kept it hidden.

“It’s okay, Doc,” I replied, pulling a strip of material from the bandage, wrapping it around my arm firmly. There was a faint pulsing sting before it faded away, like every other piece of hope I had experienced today. Dam bloodsucker! Renesmee isn’t ready for this choice yet and neither am I.

Carlisle started wiping down the bench with disinfectant. Pulling myself down from the counter I grabbed a cloth and helped out – it rid me of my thoughts in which I was being over-dramatic with. Could she really pick him over me? He is a half-breed as well, unlike me? “How are you feeling, Jacob?”

“About what?” I rung out the cloth, putting all of my uneasiness and annoyance into the chore.

His meaningful eyes watched me intently, “About Nahuel and Renesmee.” My face crumpled and he seemed to understand instantly. He sighed and patted my arm tenderly, as if to comfort. “Your imprint with my grand-daughter is strong.”

“You have no idea,” I alleged.

He stood up; the doctor looking younger than ever before as he lost his serious expression and for one moment became the innocent man he used to be. “I think I do, Jacob, and I will let you in on a secret,” he replied. “When I first met Esme, she was a young girl and she was in hospital after falling from a tree. Her parents were frantic and I was charged as her doctor – I had only just mastered my aversion to human blood a while before then, you see, but her blood was just so sensational and sweet that I almost lost it. However, her innocent and beautiful face also had me rooted to the spot – it was like being in a game of tug of war; I was being pulled from both sides. The blood and her actual self. She held me in place; it was as if she was the sun and I was just a small insignificant planet that was orbiting her. So you see, Esme is to me what Renesmee is to you.” His voice was low, but his features portrayed a deep happiness in sharing his secret and I was kinda happy he shared it with me.

For one second, I saw Edward stand at the doorway and smile – Oh hell! Reading my thoughts again! – But he disappeared back into the living room where everyone was shouting out their thoughts. ‘Blondie’ currently had the spotlight saying that Nahuel might be better for Nessie than I would be– I ground my teeth as Edward snapped back a sour comment and Emmett came in defending Rosalie.

I turned back to Carlisle, “Thanks, I’m glad you told me. My imprint with Renesmee is so intense, it’s like everything I see is her face – it’s even printed behind my eyelids as I sleep,” I admitted. The counter was now cleaned up and my arm was fully healed, I grabbed a bowl of Esme’s delicious tomato soup and ate it hungrily – while the argument from the adjoining room grew louder than ever.

I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my deeper emotions buried. Carlisle left for his study shortly after, “Hey Jake,” Nessie popped her head around the door frame as if she didn’t know if she was allowed in, her mouth set in a frown.

“Hey kiddo,” I beckoned her in. Grabbing a fairy cake from the bench she came and sat down next to me, her sweet fruity smell practically leaping from her skin hitting me in the face. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know what to do, Jake. I’m so confused,” she leaned into my shoulder miserably. My breath hitched for a minute.

The leach has a twisted mind and a black heart, how can he want to force this decision upon her so early. She barely knows what she wants, so how she can decide who she wants the most. Does she even see me like that? I wrapped my arm around her tightly, savoring what could be our last warm embrace – however much I tired, I couldn’t rid myself of these dark thoughts. “It’s up to you, honey. No-one can tell you who to pick.”

“I don’t want to though, doesn’t anybody understand?” she moaned into my arm.

“Renesmee,” I put a finger under her chin and pulled up her head, delicately tucking a loose curl of her hair behind her ear. “If you don’t want to choose yet, you don’t have to.”

The fairy cake crumpled in her hand as she squashed it in her fist, the crumbs scattering across the floor, “I have to make it now otherwise, Nahuel will never come back.” I looked at my watch and finished my soup before heading for the door, “Are you going, Jacob?” she asked sadly.

I shrugged my shoulders gloomily. “Patrol.”

“You will be back for tonight, won’t you? I want you with me.”

Why is everything so darn complicated? Why did this freakin’ leech have to make Nessie pick on the night of the firework display? The Cullen’s had planned a small bonfire for tonight and I had promised to go. “Sure, I’ll be here, honey.”

Kissing her on the head softly, I strolled out the back door and found myself on four paws, the forest’s tree’s towering above me like ancient giants.

Later…

After jumping into the shower following patrol with the boys, I pulled on a clean shirt, scribbled down a note for my dad and said goodbye to Paul, who was hanging out at my house more these days – our cupboards now bare of our much-needed food. Jumping onto my motorcycle I rode to the Cullen house, pushing the speed limits as I got closer to the bridge over the Calawah River that led to the house; I could see the girly twinkly lights wound around the tree’s and even from the distance I could see Emmett and Jasper shoving wood on a massive bonfire that was sixty times the size of a normal one – Trust Alice to make everything into such a big deal! She is an unstoppable force of nature!

When I pulled into the garage Edward was sitting in his Volvo, his hands clenched tightly around the wheel – it was the less conspicuous car of them all! He jumped up and walked towards me; I thought he was gonna punch me but he held back. “You have to tell her!” he shouted.

“Tell who what? And what exactly should I be telling them?” I joked. It’s like you have a storm cloud hovering above your head, calm down.

He was grasping his fists so hard that if he were human, he’d  of crushed his own bones by now. “Renesmee! You have to tell her you’re her imprint; I won’t have her leaving with that vampire.”

“It’s her choice, she’s old enough to make her own decisions, you can’t change that,” I retorted bitterly, then casually went to walk away but he grabbed me by the arm. I flinched back and rolled my own fists into a ball.

Edward pulled away. “What if she doesn’t choose you, what happens then? You say you wouldn’t want her to stay if she loved him, that you would let her go; but, you’re her imprint, Jacob. Think about it.”

My heart throbbed and I could feel the blood getting hotter and hotter with each searing word. I knew he was right – I wouldn’t want her to go – but I wouldn’t put my happiness first. “Is that what went through your head when Bella could have chosen me instead of you?” I pronounced each word sharply and left hurriedly.

I found Edward’s old room; the window we had smashed was still empty, the cool air nipped at my skin and raised the hairs on my arms. Every question sprung to mind as I stood here; all of my tormenting thoughts pulling themselves from their locked tombs and mocking me, taunting me with thoughts that Renesmee might not pick me, and I would be alone. If she didn’t pick me, it would feel like a curtain had been slammed down in front of my vision and I wouldn’t be-able to see anything, just darkness.

I could see the bonfire from the window and everyone was crowded around it in couples – Edward and Bella practically knitted together, Jasper and Alice hugging, Carlisle and Esme holding hands while exchanging silent words and Rosalie was in Emmett’s arms. No Renesmee.

She was gone! She had picked Nahuel!

My arms hung limp and everything about me seemed to melt away. Without Renesmee I feared I wouldn’t even remember what it would feel like to be so happy and content.

“It’s about to start.” I jumped from my skin and Nessie strode out from the shadows. She was wearing a deep blue dress that fell down her body in a cascade of cobalt waves and her hair was clipped up in soft curls. Her cheeks were blushed a faint rose and her lips were full and painted with a shimmering lip-gloss. “Aren’t you coming, Jacob?”

“Where’s Nahuel? Aren’t you with him?” I retorted sourly.

Her face was creased with a sort of deprivation – as if she needed something badly and she couldn’t get to it. “I sent him away; he wasn’t the one I was looking for.”

For one moment I had felt like everything had disappeared from me, like I had become a black hole in the vacuum of space, but now everything came rushing back. I could hardly breathe. My ribcage felt like it was about to explode. “You didn’t pick him?” I stammered from shock.

“No, I didn’t pick anyone,” she walked towards me and looked out towards the crackling bonfire.

“So you’re sending me away as well?”

Her face turned and she looked at me deeply; standing on her tip-toes her fingers traced over every inch of my face – drawing over the outlines of my facial features where they stopped at my lips. She stood still. I stood still. Time stopped. Nothing else mattered besides us two. “I couldn’t pick you Jacob, because you’re already mine… and I’m your imprint, after all.

“How did you know?” I questioned, my fingers replaying the trail she made on my face over her soft features.

“I’ve always felt it, Jacob. You’re there in my heart all the time.” She placed my hand over her chest where I could feel her throbbing heart; it was fluttering like the wings of a butterfly. “When I had to decide today, I really felt it. I remember you always being there, that look in your eyes and it’s replayed in mine every time I think about you. Plus; I heard you and Carlisle talking about it before I came in, that made it certain,” she added, chuckling.

I cupped her chin in my hands, “I love you, Renesmee and I always will.”

“I love you too, Jacob.”

Everything exploded in sparks. The fireworks started going off as soon as our lips collided; her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me closer so there was not a breath between us, my fingers threading in her hair and pulling the clip free so her hair fell loosely down her back. With her free hand she stroked my back with her tender fingers and I felt my body shiver with pleasure. Her lips were so soft and tasted like peach lip-gloss. Our tongues danced together as another sprout of rockets shot into the sky, sparks of all colours shattering around our glued forms.

Her lips were moulded together with mine – like they were meant to be – and her fruity smell was everywhere. I could even taste it! “You’re my everything,” I mumbled as I trailed kisses down her cheek to her collarbone, she was trembling in my grasp from the waves of desire we were both feeling.

When we finally pulled apart it was to breathe; wrapping ourselves in each other’s arms we sank to the floor to watch the fireworks, explosions of color painted across the sky. For the first time in my life, I kept my eyes wide open to experience everything: the starry sky, the caring and passionate family beneath us by the bonfire and my beautiful Renesmee as she pulled up on her elbows to kiss me on the lips once more ending the evening in complete and utter bliss.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/breakingdawnbd

15. Proposal

-   Jacob, Black

Nahuel was venomous and his teeth were snapping inches from my neck; they were as sharp as razor blades – wanting to slice into my skin like it was butter. I kicked him with my hind paws knocking the blood-sucking leach to the ground, his granite body thudding against the floor with a thunderous crack.

I went for an arm; sinking my serrated teeth into his stone-like skin, however he moved his free arm in a full arch slash and threw me across the room. I crashed into the massive golden bed; the lattice of metal frame fissuring, creating large metallic crevices in the structure, filling the air with the smell of rust.

This parasite is going to pay, I’ll send him to hell in no-time, I snarled. How dare he try and kiss Renesmee? My rage boiled within me, my ears ringing with Nessie’s scream. It was like a demon was growing inside of me; a monster, insisting I rip this guy’s head off and place it on a cocktail stick for everyone to see.

He pulled himself up and hissed; it was a raw and cold sound and it raised the fur at the nape of my neck, he lunged into me, trying to get his arms around me in a newborn hold.

I remembered Jasper’s training well; I jumped down from the bed and circled him curiously, searching for a flaw in his design. I knew if he killed me it would raise his crypt-cred – like street-cred but amongst the undead – with the other leeches he hung around with.

His pupils were dilated and his face was etched with concentration, his body was lithe and crouched low to the ground like a prowling jungle panther. “You shall not defeat me, pup,” he growled, his fingers curled like talons. “I will have her for myself, you will be no competition.”

I chortled at his snide comment; his mocking remark had now increased my desire to rip him limb-from-limb, but I held back. My snarls, I knew, instigated more than his venom, it was like ecstasy to him, a thrill.

We dived for eachother again; my jaw locking around his leg before being kicked in the ribs – my breaths stifling as I hit the ground, my chest taut with tension from the misplaced rib. I reacted animalistically; we leapt again and clashed in mid-air, my jaw snapping.

We both fell to the floor; I didn’t take a second thought to the room which was now destroyed from our fight, instead I bent low to the ground and kept my eyes on Nahuel – his teal eyes burnt with a sudden frenzy.

Out of the blue, Renesmee leapt into the middle of the circle – for a reason she was cradling her arm to her chest comfortingly. I stepped towards her and nudged her away but she stamped her foot persistently and stood where she was.  “Jacob Black, I am not moving until you’s two stop fighting, this is wrong!” she demanded, her brow furrowed.

“Don’t you touch her, mongrel! You have no right–” Nahuel shouted; his tone bitter and filled with rage.

Nessie spun around on her heels; her brown curls framing her delicate face, “You have no right either, trying to kiss me,” she interrupted.

I chuckled darkly; my chest rumbling with laugher. I could now hear Edward and Bella running towards us, their footsteps echoing from the stairs. They came rushing into the room, their faces etched with worry and concern – when they saw me in wolf-form and the demolished room, I knew it didn’t help there unease. “What happened?” Edward questioned in a fatherly tone.

Renesmee’s cheeks blushed faintly and she pouted her lips, “Nahuel tried to kiss me,” she admitted, embarrassed.

Edward gritted his teeth, his jaw rigid and his hands were bungled into fists at his sides – There’s a first time for everything, I joked in my head. I never had seen Edward this angry before. “There was a fight, I’m guessing,” Bella added softly, her hands lacing together behind her back.

I tried to smile misleadingly, as if it say it was the parasites fault, but Bella could see straight through me. She shrugged and bent down to pick up one of Edward’s thousands of journals, not that he needed to keep them nowadays, he was just too happy to document anything. I knew Nessie had a few journals but she had never taken a full interest in them. She put a reassuring hand on Edwards arm and winked, “I win the bet,” she mumbled. I snorted.

Renesmee was pacing between myself and Nahuel, her mind occupied, when all of a sudden, the bloodsucker soared into the air aiming for me. Renesmee was in his path. A second scream echoed through her throat and my heart lurched.

Hurdling into the air, I knocked her away, Edward catching her in his arms; Bella’s face was a mask of horror as she stared at me and her daughter in fright. I launched myself at Nahuel and we fell against the glass window that filled the western wall, shattering it so we dropped to the ground several floors down, shards of glass raining down upon us.

I could hear Renesmee shriek my name as we plunged to the ground.

We fell so Nahuel was underneath my paws when we met the grass, his body struggling and his eyes glowing with murder. Just then Edward, Bella and Renesmee practically floated from the smashed window and landed right beside me, Edward paced up and pushed me away. “Go phase, Jacob. We’ll deal with him,” he barked angrily.

Jeez! This dude tried to kiss your daughter and I just fell from a window trying to kill him and you’re shoving me away. Hell no, I thought sourly.

“Go phase,” his tone soothed but it was still commanding. “We can’t all talk wolf, Jacob.”

I ran in the fringe of trees feeling the familiar shiver down my spine and flare in my ribcage as my body changed back into a human – two legs rather than paws and an actual voice rather than thoughts, which Edward interrupted constantly. I quickly threw on some clothes which were kept in a pile by the trees, my arms aching. With a closer inspection I found a few tiny fragments of glass lodged in my skin but I ignored them and jogged back to the clearing.

The vamp was standing with his arms behind his back; Edward watching him closely as Bella stroked her daughter’s coiled hair gently. When Renesmee saw me coming she ran up to me with elation, “Jacob, you’re alright?” she crooned as I pulled her into a hug.

“Of course, honey. Do you think a vamp could hurt me?” I joked.

Her brown eyes were warm and they soothed the pain I could feel in my arm, “Your hurt?” she asked, running her smooth fingers over my skin tenderly.

“Not really, just a bit of glass, the only thing that could knock me off my feet is you getting hurt,” I admitted, pushing a stray hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. Her cheeks were blushing. “There’s no need to be ashamed, I’m just being a softie.”

Standing on her tip-toes, she pecked me on the cheek. My heart fluttered like the beating wings of a butterfly, in the distance I could see Edward’s sour expression. You didn’t say I couldn’t flirt with her and it’s only the truth. I wouldn’t want her hurt, ever.

Renesmee pouted and wrinkled her nose as she knew I was having an internal conversation with Edward, “Do you’s have to do that? It’s really quite annoying,” she asked when we reached Edward and Bella.

“They do it all the time, darling. Why don’t we just leave it to them,” Bella responded jokingly. “If they were talking about us, I’m sure we’d know about it sooner or later.”

I stalked away from the group towards the vamp leech and all of his former-glory, his back was turned and it showed his thick corded veins running under his tanned skin. “It’s considered rude to not look at a person when they going to talk to you,” I said coldly.

He hissed, “Go to hell, you dog.”

I walked around to him and smashed my clenched fist into his face, my knuckles white from the impact. “Listen bloodsucker, I’m not a dog, I’m a wolf and just so you know,” I growled under my breath, “Renesmee is not yours; she belongs to whoever she gives herself to.” With that I walked away.

“You say that now, but what about later when she picks someone else,” he sneered.

I was so tempted to turn back to him and punch him again but he wasn’t worth it, instead I laughed. “Then that’s up to her, I won’t take away her free-will like you were planning to do.”

I rejoined Bella and Renesmee. We were about to go find Carlisle to remove the glass from my arm when Nahuel turned and headed back towards us, Edward swooped down in front of us, his body crouched and a snarl ripping from his lips.

“I have to ask your daughter something,” Nahuel stated plainly enough.

“Enough, go back home! You have nothing to say to us,” he growled.

He stepped closer and Edward tensed some more and Bella interrupted, “Edward, what’s wrong?”

“Get Nessie in the house now, he has nothing left to do!” he commanded.

Renesmee stepped away from us and towards Nahuel, her head held high and her chin sticking out stubbornly, “I want to know. Tell me.”

My blood felt like it was thick and viscous, it trickled through my veins slowly and I started to feel light-headed but I held steady. My fists never unclenched.

Edward backed away, his face covered in an unyielding fury – from that moment, I knew something very bad was about to happen.

“Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I want us to be together; I’ll love and adore you forever. Please say you will,” he was practically begging on his knees for an answer but none came. The air was peppered with an eerie silence. “I’ll be back later for your answer, my love.”

After stroking his cheek, he left; leaving Bella stunned, Edward rigid, Renesmee astounded and I felt like I was falling. Except it wasn’t me exactly, it was my heart.

It was decision time already. Who would she pick? Me or the bloodsucker?

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/breakingdawnbd

12. New Start

-   Leah, Clearwater

Running was a second nature to me; the thudding of my large paws against the grassy  floor, the wind curling through my grey fur, my leveled breathing as I focused on dodging the spurred outcrops of fallen tree’s – their roots spearing out like tentacles.

Each night, once the sun had ducked further beyond the horizon, which reminded me of a length of bleached ribbon, I would find a bed of pine needles and sleep for a few hours. My dreams came in a trail of images, they swirled across my vision like it was a leaf in a river current flowing away.

I was standing on the ridge of a low sloping hill above a hollowed lake, its water twinkling as if a layer of shimmering dust wrapped around the tender waves that lapped against its borders. The air was peppered like a sweet scent that stuck to my tongue; it tasted like a thick rancid syrup. I imagined finding myself in my wolf form, but instead I was human. My own two legs felt wobbly as if I was more used to four huge paws, bringing my fingers to my temples to smooth the pulsating throb in my forehead I encountered a crown of curled hair. Held together by a large clip at the back of my head, the rest fell in a waterfall of brown coils. The length of my body was covered in a cascade of black velvet; it fanned out at the bottom like a plume of peacock feathers. I felt insecure, out too much in the open! I searched eagerly for the protection of tree’s, or wooden walls, but to my reluctance there was nothing but a gathering crowd behind me silent figure.

“I have never been so dressed up since I was a silly little girl,” I mumbled sourly to myself, gathering my arms around my chest trying to mask my insecurities.

“Yet you have never looked so glamorous,” the voice was dark and brooding, my stomach fluttered with a million butterflies.

His russet skin glowered copper in the bleak sunlight, and was adorned by a long white shirt, and black-dress trousers. His facial features sent the roots in my chest to retreat and to blossom: almond shaped eyes framed by long dark lashes, arched eyebrows and a piercing smile. His hair was tousled and messy, like Seth, I mourned internally. He held out a hand and I took it instantly, the warmth and sincerity seeping through me.

I was about to ask who he was, but his eyes held my throat constricted, they were so mellow and serene.

Leading me downhill to the dance floor – which had been obscured by the southern incline so I couldn’t have seen it while standing up there – his arm wrapped around my waist leading me onwards. It was enclosed in lattice panels which held garlands of flowers threaded through it, my heart sighed.

Twirling around my partner, I felt none of the regular emotions I normally did; instead I was the normal girl, not the wolf girl who ran away from home, from La Push.

Someone tapped there foot impatiently behind us, “I think it’s time I hand you over.”

“Thank you.” I was thrust into the arms of another; he was a white tux this time. His midnight black hair was swept back, his jewel-like green eyes deep and loving. He smiled as he sensed my confusion; pushing a discarded curl from my face he revealed a set of gleaming white teeth. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine, I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

Gathering me in his arms we danced until the sun rose above the clouds, my life no-longer in turmoil but in constantly bliss.

“Leah!”

I blinked ominously, “Leah!”

I thrust myself awake from the dream, the sun had risen far beyond the clouds, and it was around mid-day. The heat was clawing at my wolf skin, baking me as I lay there.

I threw the dream from mind and thought of it as a nightmare, day-dreaming in alternate realities wasn’t for me just now! I am running away from home, not dazing as I secretly lamented for the loss of my family so I could start a new life in college.

Pulling my exhausted body from the ground, grinding my teeth in dislike as my bones popped and moved back into place, I searched for a late wolfy breakfast. I was nearing my destination, North Vancouver, I wanted to get as far as possible from the small gloomy town of La Push and start a new life. I have long lost relatives up there, maybe they would take me in.

-   Jacob, Black

“Leah did what? Oh hell!”

My hands were balled into fists, as I spun around on the piano chair from watching Renesmee play and watched as Edward retold the story, for the third time!

“It had been days since I have saw Leah, why didn’t I think?” I scolded myself, with Sam being out of town I was the alpha male of both packs. This wouldn’t be good news for him.

Bella placed a comforting hand on my arm, the coldness of her made me flinch, but it remained there. “It’s not your fault Jacob; she didn’t want anyone to know. Don’t blame yourself?”

I jumped in anger, “If Sam finds out I lost her, he’s going to blow a fuse!”

“If he finds out what?” The pixie jumped from the stairs and glided over to the family gathering, not including me, and demanded she be told everything.

“Leah left a few days ago, I heard her thoughts and she said not to tell anyone. She wants to start a new life away from La Push, in other words she is sick of everyone imprinting.”

Fury raged through me, “Why didn’t you tell anyone? I could have brought her back, some leech properly could have got her by now,” I growled.

His brow furrowed, “I’m sorry Jacob, I should have told you but I respected what she asked me to do.”

“Jacob you couldn’t have stopped her, she was determined to go.” Bella was trying to be as comforting as possible, but nothing could dim the guilt that welled inside of me.

From behind us Renesmee stopped playing her song, and in her happy exultant voice commanded I pick her up, “Jake, Jake, what’s wrong?”

Picking her up sent multiple chills down my spine; it was the good kind through. She put her finger to my cheek; she looked at least four years old now. She replayed the scene before us, it was Edward explaining Leah’s disappearance to me, and I had flipped in front of her.

“I’m sorry, honey. Did I scare you?”

She laughed, it was like pealing bells. I chuckled long with her quietly, “Leah gone?”

“Yes, she is,” I managed to choke out without showing I was going through the guilt-trip.

She pulled her arms around me in a small hug, “We get Leah back?”

“We will, honey. I’ll find her.”

Feel free to leave me feedback:

Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/breakingdawnbd

11. Gone

-   Leah, Clearwater

I was partial to the Cullen’s, my nose wrinkling as I endured their sweet sickly scent. But I could live with it. I hoped. Since Seth, and myself, had broken away from Sam’s pack, my misery around him no longer an issue, we were mostly around the Cullen house as Jacob couldn’t part with his little imprint, Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

“Don’t you think it’s cute,” Seth teased as we ran patrol.

I snarled, baring my teeth, “Stop talking and run!”

“Jeez sorry, Leah, I didn’t think you were so touchy today,” he lamented mockingly.

“Sorry Seth, I just don’t like talking about it. It’s normal for guys to turn into wolves and imprint,” I barked a laugh. “But female shifters aren’t as common. Would it work the same for me?” I sighed, panting as I felt my paws dig into ground, the wind curling through my fur.

He paced behind me, his head bowed. “You can’t think like that, it’s too negative,” he answered.

“Aren’t I always negative, Seth? Come on, Jacob will kill us if we don’t finish running patrol,” I jerked my head forward in a persuasive motion. He caught up faster than I expected, smirking a grin we raced till the end.

Padding up the driveway, two cars pulled in the garage. Alice’s yellow Porsche, and Rosalie’s BMW M3 Convertible, Alice slid out of hers first carrying multiple shopping bags, she had obviously escaped to Port Angles for some shopping before a disaster struck – which they usually did around the family.

I had became closer to Rosalie than any of the other Cullen’s, she understood me alot more. Emmett bounded up to front porch and disappeared inside as soon as he leaped over the side door, and pecked Rosalie on the cheek.

“I’m going to go say ‘hi’ to Edward and the others, you coming?”

Seth had already changed and was busy pulling his t-shirt over his head, the black tuft of hair messy and displaced. “No, I think I’ll stay here and talk to Rose.”

“Fair enough,” he cheered happily and stalked off inside the house.

I heard there greetings from inside the house, Seth’s delight at Esme’s cooking and at her motherly love.

I found myself deeper into the fringe of the forest that surrounded the Cullen house, I felt the usual shiver of magic as my paws became hands and feet and my muzzle changed to a normal human face. A chill crawled across my skin as I clambered into my clothes. I could see my reflection in a trapped puddle in the ground: exotic copper skin, shoulder length black hair with thick dark eyelashes that reminded Bella of feather dusters.

I smothered my laughter, as I thought of how ridiculous that was. I never did like Bella that much, my dislike had increased of her when she caused Jacob so much heartache and was changed into a bloodsucker like the rest of them. My aversion to her was now at a minimal, but I still stayed clear of her.

Walking up to Rosalie who was hunched over her car, most probably using her mechanical ability to fix a lose bolt, “Hey Rose.”

“Hi Leah, heard you just ran patrol?”

Pulling my arms up in mock frustration, “Yeh, Jacob has us running patrols while he spends some quality time with Renesmee. He’s been so busy with Sam” – I choked out the words – “he hasn’t had a chance to take that much of a break.”

“Hmm, who’s let the dogs off their leashes,” she chuckled.

I laughed along, comically. I was used to Rosalie’s jokes and didn’t take too much offence, unlike the guys. “They want to sort out some patrol details since Paul is leaving with Jacob’s sister, Rachel, to Washington as she visits her college there for a few weeks. Jared is with Kim most of them time as well. Quil is tentative, and Claire’s only small so he doesn’t have such an attraction with her, more of brotherly love.” I noticed I was starting to ramble on and forced my mouth shut.

Oil stains peppered her once immaculate outfit; she didn’t seem to mind. We continued to chat about small things. I could relate to Rosalie and her situation, even if she was kinda dead and still walking the earth. I pushed past my disgust for vampires and concentrated on our conversation.

“Rosalie,” I asked hesitantly.

She caught my eyes, the golden colour was liquefied and they radiated warmth and understanding.

I forced my fear back, “How do you get over it? Not being able to ever have a child?”

Her strength wavered; coiling a strand of blonde hair around her finger she heaved a sigh, “I can’t. Emmett relieves some of the pain, and I am immensely grateful I found him no doubt about it, but there is a part of me that aches for a child.” She smiled doubtfully, “But since Renesmee I think I can put my motherly love into some good use, and I appreciate Bella for giving me something that I have wanted for years, even if it isn’t fully mine.”

I feel my russet skin blemish as I felt embarrassed to have asked, Rosalie interrupted my internal thoughts, “Its gets easier, Leah.”

My intention of asking hung limp in my mind, just then Sam emerged from the shadows of the trees. He never tracked this far to the Cullen house; I felt a shiver crawl against my skin. I ran over my heart hammering against my chest. The pain didn’t dull; it gained the advantage digging deeper forging roots of steel.

“What’s up?” I panted.

His brown eyes were soft and filled with sadness as he knew the pain he would be causing me, “Emily and I are taking a week away and I need Jacob to cover, can you get him?” He could see the hatred blossoming from the roots that were formed in my chest.

“Give me a second.”

Using a slow stride I paced up to the porch and called Jacob outside, I avoided the inside of the house where the smell would attack my nose. “What’s up Leah,” he asked, punching my shoulder playfully.

I pointed towards Sam, “He needs you to be Alpha for the pack while he and Emily go away for a week,” I ground my teeth as the words poured from my mouth.

Running over, I returned to Rosalie. The chatter was short and succinct; instead I over-heard the protests between Jacob and Sam, I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

“You can’t be serious?”

“I am.”

“You know the pack is short of members already, you said you wanted to keep the younger wolves like Colin and Brady from patrolling, so what are we going to do,” Jacob roared.

Sam cocked an eyebrow while he debated, “You’ll just have to double up; I won’t have the younger ones running patrols when there could be potential danger out there.”

Sighing, “To hell with it, I’ll sort something out. Where are you and Emily going anyways?”

“To the Makah reservation to visit her brother and sister,” he announced.

I growled under my breath; “You go, I’ll handle things.”

“Thanks Jacob,” he patted his arm and left in a steady run to turn into a wolf, and return to his Emily. The roots spread like an infection, excavating further into my chest and corrupting me. I silently wanted to scream out my irritation.

Jacob didn’t even bother to fill me in, but instead ran straight for the Cullen house, back to his imprint. I felt like crying, everyone was imprinting and I would be left until I could control the wolf inside me and get rid of it for good. I wrapped my arms around my chest.

Rosalie was uncertain whether to ask or not, I asked her continue. “Do you and Sam have a past, Leah,” she enquired. I felt my chest tighten.

“We used to date before he changed into a wolf, then he imprinted with Emily, my second cousin. It crushed my heart, now leaving it fractured,” I mumbled to last sentence to myself.

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

Raising the topic had my mind set on what I wanted to do before I thought it, I was going to leave. Move away and start college. Start a new life somewhere else, and feel normal instead of the ‘wolfy girl.’ The roots in my chest tangled and knotted, I decided that if I stayed here in La Push all my life, I wouldn’t be-able to move on from Sam and everything would be confusion.

Rosalie had now entered the house on my silent note, walking up to the porch I projected my thoughts to Edward, the mind reader would surely pick them up.

I’m leaving La Push, I told him telepathically. Don’t tell anyone unless they ask, I don’t know where I’m going but as long as I stay here I’m not going to be able to hold out no longer. Tell everyone goodbye for me.

Running into the woods, I shivered feeling my body change into the familiar shape of my wolf counterpart. Using all the force under my paws, I shot through the woods like a bullet.

A new start. A new beginning. A new life.

Feel free to contact me:

Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/breakingdawnbd

9. Lost and Found

Before you start reading, I apologize if this entry is a bit long but there’s just so much to put in so the entry for next week will be the end of Alice’s search for Jasper. Also, these are two quotes from a very good friend of mine from Twitter, she writes quotes from the character’s of the Twilight Saga. She wrote some from Alice and Jasper on there emotions from the last entry and has helped give me inspiration. Check her out on Twitter: @triciatotzkie

“Goodbye, my Alice. I love you. It’s what I thought when Roxanne captured me. I would never see you again. I would never see you dance in the room. I would never see your short spiky hair bouncing as you walked fluidly, like a swan gliding over water. I would never hear your beautiful high-pitched voice that sent shivers down my spine. I would never hold you again, my only true love. As Roxanne dragged me onwards with her cruel talent, I thought about my last moment with my Alice and thinking, I love you so much, you are my everything.”
Jasper Hale

“Jasper, I will find you, no matter what. I thought of it while Bella and I are in the airplane to Texas, rescuing you. Without him, I am hollow. I am useless. I am not whole. He’s the reason why I’m still alive. He’s the reason for everything. He’s my world, my soul mate, my one true love. He always makes me whole, alive. He’s the centre of my universe. If he dies, I would find a way to die too. I would find a way to be with him again, to have his arms around me, to have his lips against mine. I would find a way through this. I was begging, just please; let him be safe with me. Please. I really love you Jasper.”
Alice Cullen

-   Bella, Cullen

I had never in my whole existence, human or vampire, seen Alice in this much distress. Every time we caught his scent it would disappear a few miles off. Alice would then crumple to the ground and pull her knees to her face – her aguish lining her face in permanent suffering. I sighed as I slid down next to her, our faces were no longer the normal pale but instead plastered with the desert dust, our clothes wrinkled and we had become mentally exhausted.

I had gotten used to the deathly quiet since we arrived, our lips clamped shut, perfect status of silence sitting in the dirt. My throat was parched, not the human kind but the thirst for blood, the flames increased the intensity of the desert heat. We needed to hunt.

I nudged Alice slightly, her figure hanging limp against the rock, her eyes a coal black staring absentmindedly into the distance. “Alice?” An eyebrow raised and she cocked her head to the side, “We need to hunt.”

“Bella,” she sobbed – of course she wasn’t crying but rather holding on to her misery. “I can’t live without him, was it like this for you when Edward left?”

I nodded as I remembered the painful memories. “We will find him, Alice.”

“We have searched for days, and nothing.”

“The one thing I have to say is, when Edward left,” I choked out the words. “I didn’t give up, I clung on to those memories and never let go. Jasper loves you Alice, he wouldn’t give up that easily unless you were in danger, and you know him to be over-protective?”

She looked up, her face full of sadness but with a hint of understanding. “Bella, I have always considered you as a sister but now I feel as if we are connected by something more. I now understand how much Edward leaving caused you pain.”

It felt as if a rusted cog in my frozen body started working again miraculously, giving my hand to her I pulled Alice from the ground and found her to be in a more cheerful mood. My mechanical body started working overtime as I started to think about the hunting that was on the horizon.  “Time to hunt,” she chimed in, her voice happier but still hollow.

-   Jasper, Hale

The venom stung.

The large cavernous walls of the cave blocked me in, the limestone stalagmites reaching from the floor and creating columns at the base of the hollow hole in which I was placed. Newborns surrounded me; teeth exposed, venom coating their parched tongues. Flexing their newly strengthened muscles they crouched low to the ground, their bodies poised and coiled ready to spring at any moment.

I expelled the part of my mind that focused on my private memories: Alice and home, and let go to my primal instinct. I started to feel the urge to pounce through my limbs. Roxanne was hidden in the shadows, her searing laughter muffled by the caves gurgle as myself and the newborns clashed.

There went a leg, an arm, maybe a head – the swirling tangle of a mass of red hair. A cry, a yelp and a pleading child. Everything was black, dark, and destruction rained. The combat was brutal and violent.

A few moments’ later corpses littered the ground, once picking themselves up they limped away were their limbs would be sewn back on – a typical cure for such an aggressive event. I brought back up my wall in my mind, it would keep Roxanne out but it wouldn’t help defend me against her talent. She tip-toed from her perch, I walked away knowing she was attached to my retreating shadow. I found my secluded hollow were I sat whenever free, it was away from everyone, it was where my memories flooded before me.

“We’re doing well,” she purred.

I kept silent.

“Do you not talk Mr Whitlock?” she crooned as she circled my den. One thing I had learnt from my previous experience was to keep my head down unless forced to answer.

She leaped forward grasping my face between her fingers, it felt like steel blades cutting through my exposed marble skin. A sudden wave of emotion came over me, leaping through my barriers – Alice’s warm touch against my skin, like a river a molten rock flowing underneath my skin, the comfort of knowing she is safe in my embrace and the bouquet of smells that came off her skin. Roxanne hissed and jumped back in disgust.

“She will not have you, NO!” she cried sharply.

My mind didn’t process the idea before I was leaping out of the crack in the earth, pushing all the force into my legs as I aimed for the entrance to the cave. Roxanne was paralysed in the corner, her eyes rolling in the sockets as she processed the suggestion of love and devotion. I could see the light, smell the fresh air instead of the odour of rage and violence with the newborns I stayed with, I could taste the freedom.

In the arch of the cave entrance before I react, was Alice. Was my mind, which was solely focusing on running away, deceiving me? Her small figure was leaned against the limestone wall, her dress soaked with days of red dust from the desert; her hands seemed to stretch out to me. I accelerated, but with each fastening step she disappeared among the bleak cracked rocks.

Her voice was welcoming to my senses, “Jasper?”

Metal dividers slammed down before me and I hit into something hard, a shattering thud echoing in the cave. I hit the hard floor, except it wasn’t as I suspected. The rocks were sharp and prodded into my back; water flooded my lungs – the salt burning my lungs as if I was human again. I grasped for air, the waves of water feeling like acid being thrusted down my throat.

I heard a voice further back, “That was cruel, Stacey,” it called maliciously.

“A good dose of fear was needed.”

Vampires couldn’t be killed easily, but then how was I dying as I was drowning in which I was guessing the spring found in the cave further back from the fighting arena. I wasn’t human. I was vampire.

My mind clicked as black spots covered my vision, Roxanne’s gift!

Large hands thrust around my neck pulling me from the water, two newborns and Roxanne surrounded me. Stacey, a small girl from a little town further south from the caves, Duke, a large male with a burly build, stood around me – their hands clamped down roughly on my weak shoulders.

“Roxanne, it was genius to make his body feel weak therefore rendering him human, but may I end this.” Her red eyes were slits as they came upon mine.

“Your illusions are so real,” she answered happily.

I heard the last sentence but I couldn’t concentrate on anyone except the figure of Alice standing at the cave entrance, beckoning me home. There was a rumble and the rocks fell from place and buried my Alice into them. Everything stopped, my heart ruined and crushed. I ceased to breathe.

Reality came before me.

It might have been an illusion, but the image was too devastating. It made me helpless.

“That will lower his confidence; keep him here while he suffers.”

The cave entrance closed and all the light was terminated, my memories were my only comfort. Never in my life had I feel so weak and useless.

-   Alice, Cullen

Hunting had helped but I still felt the same aching in my heart, the longing to find him and to hold his hand in mine. If I found him otherwise, it hurt to think about it, I would find an away to be with him again – to feel his touch against my cheek as he stroked my face, the feel of his lips against mine.

Bella was just finishing and I sat on a rock, the outer membrane of it rough with smooth edges. It puzzled me but I threw it to the back of my mind.

Nothing else matters!

“Do you want re-route back to the house?” Bella’s voice was low as she strode up from behind me.

We had been back in the house but to nothing besides an empty cupboard and several pieces of ripped paper. Mothballs were flying through the air and Jasper’s scent was ripe, however it hadn’t lasted long and my despair crept over me. “No. Jasper won’t have stayed there long. His scent led out here, but how?”

“I don’t know,” she ran her slim fingers over the base of the rock, her eyes, now golden, gazing deeply into the distance. “Alice?” she asked alarmed.

I jumped from my perch immediately, ready to fight.

Standing up hesitantly she grasped my arms, “Were not getting attacked, feel this.”

My hands were fumbling around, the wind had rose therefore causing the dust to rise and cause a crimson fog across the wasteland. I didn’t know what Bella wanted me to do but I found it.

The surface area of the rock had been charred or scraped away. Lettering engraved deeply. Starting from the beginning I ran my fingers over each letter, spelling out each out. “F.O.R.G.I.V.E and M.E.”

My heart swelled three times its actual size. “Jasper was here!” I cried searching with my eyes every inch of the desert.

“Alice, I think” she struggled to get out her words. ”Wait a moment.”

She ducked off into the mist leaving me with a coiling stomach. She ran back, her hair pulled up in a ponytail and her face happy. “I have Jasper’s scent.”

We are going to find him.

Feel Free to join me Twilighters:

Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/bellasdiary

7. Shadows

-    Jasper, Hale

Born in 1843, I dreamed of joining the Confederate Army to help serve and protect the large sprawling city I called home. My father was a proud man, always boasting about how he had bred the perfect son to be proud of: “6’3 with the same honey blonde hair of my mother and loads of charisma.” I lived in Houston, Texas, an economy which a wide industrial base, and by 1861, when I joined the army, I had barely just turned seventeen. I now appreciate my short lived military career; it built character and helped me keep on track of my life, I guess I can also thank it for leading me to my Alice.

I moved up through the ranks quickly and before I knew it, I was the youngest major in Texas – the others oblivious to my real age. I was helping to evacuate the women and younger children away from the battle site, we were pawns at the time on a large chessboard helping to keep the game going, and that was where I met Maria, Nettie and Lucy and it is where I had visited today.

The ground was open, leaving a large gash in the southern landscape. The moon beat down its ray relentlessly illuminating every precise detail of the distant thatched roofs of the houses, an echo of a remote cry far out into the barren land.

Every year I would make a small trip back home, alone, where I could taste familiar scents and watch memories float by as I crossed long stretches of abandoned path where I once lived. My parents have long been deceased, but their lifestyles haven’t – the old rocking chair where my mother used to cradle me stood by the front door and my father’s old writing desk stood proud and tall, empty letters still cluttering the table top. Picking up the old quill pen I remembered the smell of a burning tip and of drying ink. I scratch a few scarred lines into a spare piece of paper from my pocket, my father’s old parchment was far too precious to use, but a glint caught my eyes. Hard angular writing was covered on both sides on a piece of parchment; I flipped it over few times and read it to myself silently:

Dear my precious son Jasper Whitlock,

If your reading this it may be obvious that I have passed away and now reside on the other side of life, but I want you to know that even though I didn’t reveal my feelings to anyone, including you my own son, I still loved you more than life itself.

Your mother and I, we were very proud of you. We adored you like the first light of day and the last at sunset. When we found you went missing during the skirmish it felt like as if I was a machine, the cogs, bolts and screws were the only things that kept me going for the several years I lived. We were nothing without you! We have your old confederate uniform in the old cupboard by the stairs, it may need washed but it’s yours to keep – it held many wonderful memories for me and your mother, we savoured every moment we could out of that uniform from your first day to your last. It was given to us by your old Major, Captain Brandon, a firm young man but nothing like you were.

Of course I would like to know where you went during them agonising years and what happened if you’re reading this, but the thing I wanted to say the most was that I loved you with all my undying heart. You were my son and I was your father.

With all of our love,

Your mother and father

Vampires couldn’t cry but I was struggling to withhold should a strong feeling that surged through me that I couldn’t help but want to release some tears – tears of joy and of happiness. Folding the letter with a gentle hand I found the old moth covered closet under the stairs and took out my old uniform, my father was right, it did need a wash but it still pulled tight on my heart strings. I felt my heart swell twice its frozen size, a slow throbbing at the base of my chest.

I tried it on once more, feeling the fabric breeze against my charred marble skin once more, the musty smell of recollections from the past and the light jingle of something in the pocket. I pulled out the metallic object from my pocket, a slight prick on my thumb; my limbs tingled as the muffled light revealed the object. It was my badge I had to wear to symbolise me being a Major, the colours were a tad muted and flecks of gold were dotted around the edges like it had rusted. I pinned it on the breast pocket of the uniform and watched the dark figure in the mirror of a Confederate Soldier standing tall and proud.

I replayed the rest of my history in my head like a film reel; I remembered the searing pain as flames engulfed my body, the feeling of wanting to die. I could see Maria’s pale granite face hovering over me as I awoke, explaining to me what I was, a monster, a being created for destruction. The fights, the vigorous training I went through to raise through the ranks like in the army, the killing of the newborn’s each one leaving a new permanent scar in my skin. Peter and Charlotte escaping and coming back for me years later, and then the highlight of my existence – Alice. She danced into my life in a small diner in Philadelphia, a small bundle of joy. She was the reason I now lived and swore to protect the human race, she gave me a purpose and I was going to live up to it.

Looking deep into the mirror, I saw the same glint in my eyes that I had when I first saw her, it was a deep passionate desire to protect and love her like any person should do. Watching the silhouette of a soldier I was unaware of the travelling shadow behind me, its blood red eyes fixed upon my back, its voice was high and shrill and brought a chill to my skin. Its emotions were tangled in a sea of vicious anger and vengeance, and it was me she wanted.

“Major Jasper Whitlock has arrived home,” she purred as her long shadow clung to the wall. “I have been expecting you for some time.”

My heart was pounding uncontrollably, I knew that cold hearted voice from anywhere; it hugged the walls like death waiting for its prey to give in. It wasn’t possible she was here, she was dead. Or so I thought.

She stepped out of her cocoon and revealed a head of long brown locks and piercing blood red eyes, my throat clenched and everything turned dark.

“Welcome home, our coven has been long awaiting you.”

Feel free to contact me:

Twitter: HERE

Facebook: HERE

Email: Amylouise@thebreakingdawnmovie.org

Follow: www.twitter.com/bellasdiary